Where Beautiful Things Grow

It was a little under a year ago, on a beautiful day in autumn, that I had one of the neatest "Ah ha!" moments in my short little life.

It was a different day from the beginning - a day where reflection on who I was just seemed to start only shortly after my eyes popped open. As I made my way to work, I sank deeper into thought as I watched grey clouds slowly roll across the sky. It appeared as if rain would be on the docket and as dark as the sky was, it comforted me somewhat and made me calm. "It can't be all sunshine all the time," it told me. That little voice inside my head was right... and on that particular day, the sun inside my heart wasn't shining either.

For those of you who might know me better, I'm one of those unfortunate people who is pretty passionate about pursuing answers to "life" questions. It was on this day that the culmination of months of asking God, "Why am I here? God, what am I made for? What do you want me to do with my life?" would finally come. As I drove down the freeway, I continued my desperate conversation with Him. My mind whirled and spun, thinking about all the things I wasn't and all the reasons why I wasn't good enough. By the time I got to work, I was a mess.

So as I got out of my car to walk to work, as my feet hit the pavement, I was deep in thought or at least, deep in feeling totally low about myself. As I walked closer to the front door, I looked up at our sign... "I work for a church and I feel like this?" was all I could think. "What can I do, where should I go, what is it You want me to do? I wish you would talk to me Lord..." and with that, I looked at the ground.

Funny how God answers prayer. He doesn't answer us over a loud speaker or send lightening bolts to announce His presence. Instead, I saw a small crack in the asphalt. "Lord that's how my heart feels... cracked... I want so badly to do something for You."

Then I saw it...

There, at my feet, was a single flower that had sprouted out of that crack. Healthy, alive, vibrant and well, the little flower had grown in a place I would have least expected it. I looked around and there were no other flowers like it anywhere to be seen. And in the one-second rush that had comprised that instant, He had given me His answer, "Look at this flower. It's growing in a crack... which is exactly where I put it. Grow and be content under My care where ever I put you. If it's here, in a crack, then it's here, in a crack. The question should have never been about what you can do or about how good you can be for Me. The question should have only ever been, 'what more can You do?' Because it is not by your own strength, not by your own might that you do anything well or right. Now see what I can do! Look how this little flower lives! Where you are now is right where I want you to be."

So, the moral of this story? The way I see it, you can take take two different roads here. Road #1: if you happen to be a tasty seed, don't ever let yourself get eaten by a bird - who knows where you'll end up! OR... maybe something a little more wise - Road #2: like the magnet on my mom's refrigerator says, "Bloom where you're planted" - and trust God will handle the rest. (Now, if I could only remember that every second of my day!)

Not the exact flower I saw, but you get the picture!