Thoughts on... The Finer Things in Life

As I sit here typing and eating dill pickles and apples (no, I'm not pregnant and yes, it is a strange combination, but in my defense, they both fall under the veggie/fruit level of the food pyramid, so when you look at it that way, it's not so bad), I'm reflecting on the happenings of the past few weeks.

Only yesterday, we attended the funeral of a cousin who died at a very young, very brave, and very beautiful 34 years of age after losing her battle with cancer (and I say "battle" because she fought it hard, although very gracefully, for years until it finally wore her body down). She leaves behind a loving husband who stayed by her bedside day after day, holding her hand while tears rolled down his cheeks; a sister who wept aloud when they came to take away her body; and a whole family who, in witnessing these sights, grieved deeply in unison, and surrounded them in love.

I was reminded, throughout these days, of several things: how wonderful and comforting it is to have close family and friends, that God is a God of comfort and that He is there whether we think He is or not, that life is incredibly fragile, and that death is not the end but only a doorway. And as I write these words, I wonder what days lie ahead for which I will need to recall them... and then I think about Chen-Chen.



People ask us why we are adopting a sick child. Why on earth would we want to subject ourselves to all the potential grief, heartache and hardship? Think about the bills, the doctors appointments, your work schedules, the worry, the anxiety? What if the worst happens? What if there comes a point where the doctors can't do anything more to help her? What then? Why would you even consider this for your life?

Those are all reasonable questions that both me and Mike have asked ourselves on numerous occasions and still do sometimes. Truth be known, we never set out intending to adopt a little one with serious medical problems. I think it was something we mildly considered from time to time, but when we applied, we applied to adopt a healthy child. So what happened? Why are we now adopting a little one with a liver disorder?

All I can say is when we heard about Chen-Chen, something very unscientific happened... we just felt she was meant to be ours.

Just as anyone who dreams about someday having children, biological or adopted, your love for that child starts well before you know them... the way God loved each and every one of us before we were born. Let me explain...

Me and Mike have always wanted children and from the day we were married, we always talked about what they would look like, who they would take after, what kind of personalities they would have, whether we would have a boy or a girl first. We would talk about the things we would do with our little ones - I always imagined Mike wrestling with our boys and me, singing with our girls... we started loving them a long time ago.

A few years ago, when I was expecting, we experienced a heightening of those feelings, an amplification of everything we had been waiting in expectation of, and when I miscarried, it was a loss we felt deeply and grieved over for a long time because that child was so precious to us. The only reason I mention this, is to tell you we've experienced both types of waits - the wait for a biological child, and the wait for an adopted child, and I can tell you from experience, for those who doubt you cannot anticipate the arrival of an adopted child with as much joy and excitement as you can a biological child, I want to tell you, you can... they are the same.

Granted, we know she will not look like us (although I think her chin looks a lot like Mikes) and there are some things that are genetic, and although Chen-Chen is not ours biologically, we know that God has placed her in our path just the same, and we believe we were intended to be a family from the very beginning. Could it be that it was Chen-Chen that we were thinking about when we first got married, that it was Chen-Chen we were thinking about when we would wonder if we would have a girl or a boy first and that it was Chen-Chen we were thinking of whenever we would pass by the baby section in Target? Maybe it was her all along... we just didn't know the way God would deliver her to us.

So, why do we want to take on a sick child? I guess our reasoning is, the Lord willing, she's our daughter and we'll love her no matter what... come what may.

So now I need a refill on my pickles and apples... they taste so good, the only way you could improve on it would be if you could dip them in ketchup! (Not really, I'm just checking to see if you're still awake) I'll sign off for now, hoping to see you back again soon. My next blog is going to be, "Thoughts on... Why the Toilet Paper Should Be Right Side Down!" - you're not going to want to miss that one!

Take care dear friends. Be sure to hug your families extra tight tonight, don't forget to say your bedtime prayers (no joke there... prayer is powerful!) and lastly, stock up on pickles and apples... for these are the finer things in life!