Little Sarah Chen-Chen - at home, relaxing, smiling and reading some good books!
As we waited at the airport, my heart raced and my mind chewed on what would happen in the next hour, the next day, the next week, the next year - the next half a century. As I stood there, a complete mish-mosh of thoughts and emotions went zipping through my brain, as I knew our quiet, spontaneous and sometimes arbitrary lives were about to be changed forever: Sarah was coming home!
Sarah's flight at LAX has arrived on time!
For those of you who have followed our story, you know that we've been wanting to adopt for the last couple years and it was one day in June 2006 that we learned about a little one named Chen-Chen (who we now call Sarah), a precious little girl, an orphan in China. Ever since, we've been praying and hoping that sometime in the near future, we would be able to hold her in our arms and call her our own. It was on this ordinary day in April, that she would make her arrival and cement her place in our hearts AND in our home!
Mike, me and Mom waiting patiently for Sarah...
As we waited, and held our "Welcome Home Sarah" signs, we watched as people made their way down the ramp. Some had come to the U.S. on business, their chauffeurs greeting them with their names on signs, ready to transport them to their hotels. Others had come to the U.S. to visit friends and were greeted with hugs and kisses and warm reunions. Yet others had stepped off the plane to return to the place they called home.
Home... a place of love, comfort, warmth, and healing - the very reason Sarah had traveled all that way... to come home.
Mom, Dad, Mike, me, and our cousin Clint waiting to welcome Sarah to the U.S.
We had no expectations of being hugged, or kissed, or loved on, only that, in all probability, she would be extremely tired and cranky, lugging with her the only baggage she had (anything she had created during her last moments on her flight!) We had no hopes that she would do anything but cry when she saw us, so as we stood there, watching and waiting, we had generated little (if any) presuppositions of what would occur within the next several hours or days. All we knew was God had made a miracle happen... and that was enough.
Going back, we first heard that Sarah was going to make the trip on Wednesday, March 28th. We had been told she was showing signs that her liver might be faltering and that she was to be flown to the United States as soon as possible to be evaluated by the liver transplant team at Children's Hospital in Los Angeles.
This news set a whole team of people to work; the lightening fast and wonderful team at Hope Foster Home secured her passport, Visa, and booked her flight (which was generously donated by a couple who had worked with Sarah at Hope Foster Home); Pat Van Winkle contacted the liver transplant team, coordinated and secured her official acceptance there as a patient; a generous donor came forward and produced the funds the hospital needed as a retainer (a huge amount, another miracle); my employer and church family at Yorba Linda Friends continued to be incredibly supportive and generous of both time-off and in helping us prepare; Mom and Dad helped us make a mad dash to get the house in order, the crib set-up, the baby seat in the car and were the backbone of our moral support... among a myriad of other things; and lastly but most importantly... everyone continued to pray.
I cannot stress enough how much I think prayer has impacted our family. So many have prayed for Sarah, for very specific things, and so far, we've seen almost every prayer regarding her answered. It has been nothing short of extraordinary and everything exceeding incredible. In my most hopeful and trusting moments in my walk with the Lord, I have never seen nor experienced anything quite like this; it's been real. I've always believed that God was the Almighty - the Great I Am, the Creator of the Universe... but I never stopped to think that God still worked miracles. I had unknowingly put God in a box. Until we heard about Sarah, I didn't except too much from Him and never asked Him to work in ways I knew were beyond us humans. But through this journey with Sarah, I now truly believe that nothing is too big or too small for God... not an orphan with a liver problem half way across the world and certainly not a broken-hearted couple longing for children to hold... nothing is too big or too little for God.
That call in March changed our lives in an instant. I kept thinking, "this is so surreal!" and for the next two weeks, that same feeling would replay over and over and over again in my mind... "is this really happening?! Are we really going to be able to see her and hold her in two weeks?" coupled with, "Oh man, I'm going to be a mom... will I make a good mom? What if I'm lousy at it?" and the ever present, "What about her liver? Is she in pain? Will she be uncomfortable?" and, "What if she becomes really sick? What happens if we can't help her? What then?"
We had only seen her through photographs and videos at that point, so to think she would be in the same room with us in less than a couple weeks was almost unbelievable. As excited as we were, there was an extensive gamut of feelings that accompanied that phone call: anxiousness, happiness, joy, worry, thankfulness, nervousness, alarm, and amazement to name just a few. However, the one feeling that has always topped all the others, is the feeling of absolute wonder - a year ago, we were told it would never happen and now, on April 15th, we were at the airport, waiting to welcome her home.
When asked what those weeks felt like before Sarah arrived, Mike had said, "it's like finding out you are pregnant and then having the baby two weeks later" and truly, that's exactly what it felt like (minus the physical aspects of being pregnant, mind you). We began to make purchases for the necessities we needed and at it was during one $600 trip to Babies R' Us that we realized we weren't in Kansas anymore!
The outpouring of generosity has been deeply, deeply moving and is something we will always remember and treasure. My sister Julie had saved her crib for me, so Mom and Dad brought that up. Mom and Dad spent a ton of time (and money!) helping outfit Sarah's room. We were blessed by many of my co-workers with a beautiful stroller and a portable crib only days before her arrival and have been so touched by many incredibly thoughtful and generous people, like Chris Roberts, who I've not spoken to in years, who sent a package for Sarah after she heard about her. The kindness of those who have called or emailed just to offer their support and help was extremely encouraging and we cannot thank them enough. I can remember being so worried thinking about the expense of preparing for her in only two weeks, but by the time she arrived, almost every item we needed for her day-to-day care had been met - how God provides!
So, on April 15th, we made our way to LAX to wait for Sarah and Marsha (Marsha works for Hope Foster Home and transported Sarah to us - an absolute gem, so representative of the organization she works for). I was so anxious, I could hardly stand it. Every time a person would appear from around the corner of the ramp, my stomach would jump into my throat. "Nope, that's a business man... nope, that's a mom and her daughter..." Nope. Nope. Nope.
Then finally, as if in super slow motion... the gray wheels of a stroller, then the little legs and hands of a child, and finally, Marsha and Sarah had arrived!
As Marsha strolled closer to us, all eyes were on Sarah. She looked tired and was very unimpressed with all of us and completely clueless as to what everyone was doing taking her photo, crying and hugging, video-taping, oooing and aahhing over her. She didn't cry though... matter of fact, she sat in her stroller like a child who'd just been on a 15 hour flight only to get off and be greeted by complete strangers - she didn't move a muscle!
They've arrived! Marsha and Sarah motoring their way through the airport.
Our first moment with Sarah. She didn't know quite what to think of us!
Once all the initial excitement had run it's course, we figured it was best to get on home. However, we had determined the next stop was to see Pat (who is a pediatric doctor) so he could evaluate an ear infection she had and her general condition coming off the flight. Once we arrived at the Van Winkle residence, we got our first glimpse (or should I say, sniff) of what would soon become an everyday event at the Barrett house. It was among the very first audible noises we heard her produce and is now what she refers to (as she giggles and laughs) as a "toot-toot."
The welcoming party! Special thanks to Kacie for all the great photos of that day!
Funny enough... Mike was in the bookstore with her the other day and she was pretty gassy. They were waiting in line, enjoying the low music that was playing throughout the store when she broke the silence... "toot-toot!" she proclaimed. Then, as they took another step closer to the cash register, giggling, she let another one go... "toot-toot!!!" she said louder. At this time, Mike was still reeling from her first "toot-toot" when all of a sudden, she let go what could have been mistaken as a sonic boom and announced to the whole store, "TOOT-TOOOOOOOT!" Mike later told me he had wanted to crawl under the nearest table. I thought it was cute.
Anyway, back to her toot-tooting on Pat... after he had given her the thumbs-up, we proceeded home for the first time as a family. It was a 30-minute drive at best, but upon arriving at home, we found she was as sound asleep as an old man watching the golf channel. Marsha picked her up, took her inside and laid her down in the portable crib we had set-up for her downstairs. We had agreed Marsha would catch some zzz's upstairs and we would sleep downstairs on futons in the living room with Sarah until she woke up... which was precisely 30 minutes after Marsha went to bed! I can remember acutely thinking... "what do we do now?!" All of a sudden, I keenly remember thinking how badly I wanted my Mom so she could tell me what to do!
First, she started moving her legs, making little grunting sounds and rubbing her eyes... that is, until she realized she was in a place she'd never seen with those people who had been obsessing over her at the airport. Now, is her first moments of lucidity at home, she realized these people were starring at her and no matter what, they just wouldn't go away. So she froze - the only thing moving were her little eyes - darting back and forth trying to figure out what was going on and where the nearest escape route was.
At this point, we had already been told she enjoyed food tremendously, and at one point, I had read that the fastest way to a child's good graces was to give them food they liked. Joyce at Hope Foster had told us that noodles would make a nice treat for her, so we asked her, "do you want some noodles? some food?" and faster than a greased pig on the 4th of July, she was up and wanting out of that crib!
Sarah reminding me she's taking "little bites" - she stuffed a 1/4 of a banana in her mouth one day, which I had to fetch out... so now she always reminds me she's taking "little bites."
From then on, I knew me and Sarah were going to get along just fine. I mean, we spoke the same language (the language of "Ummmmm!") and I could tell she appreciated the finer foods in life - (Top Ramen noodles minus the salty seasoning packet) and it was during this first meal at 3:00 a.m. that she laughed at me for the first time.
At first, it was a little "humph" type of a laugh... very short, very matter of fact, like she was amused at my silly antics and efforts in trying to get her to smile. At last, I found my in! I tried to eat a noodle that had fallen on to top-side of her little hand. She had recoiled, thinking I was trying to bite her, but after a few more trys, she began to realize I was trying to play with her. At that point, she began to wave her hand, slowly at first, looking at me very carefully with a half smile, then after a few minutes, she was wildly flailing about, belly-laughing and squeaking, waving her little arm as fast as she could! Noodles went flying, heads tipped back in laughter and all the while, I kept thinking, we could have missed this... we could have missed this. Such a cheerful little voice, a wonderful and innocent little laugh, and a beautiful, beautiful smile. I will never forget that moment.
Our little ham! She's always smiling and laughing and giggling!
And so it went for the rest of the morning.... giggling and laughing, lots of getting to know each other, a ton of good food (which created the eventual poopie diaper and I didn't gag Julie!) and a whole lot of everything good.
What a wonder. What a joy. What a miracle... Sarah is finally home. 
One of my favorite photos of Sarah - taken at Disneyland a week after she arrived. What a treasure she is.
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