Tapping Out

Tapping out - it sounds so "Uncle! Uncle!" to me.

Every time I think about the words "tap out" or "tapping out" I think about the scene in A Christmas Story where Ralphie is pushed past the confines of sanity and finally goes bonzo on the neighborhood bully, Scut Farkus. What ensues is an unforgettable visual: sweet, smooth-cheeked, angelic little Ralphie sitting atop a cowering, yellow-eyed Scut, beating the living snot out of him, all the while, uttering a fluid string of unintelligible profanities under his breath. There's just something about that scene that makes me feel really good... in an really awful way. I mean, the bully had it comin' - you can only expect a kid to take so much before he finally looses it and freaks out on you, and I guess, since most of us have been bullied before (in one way or another), it feels good to see a little "justice" administered. But each time I see that fight, after about the first 3 seconds, I start to think, "ok Ralphie - dude, you can let up now..." and Ralphie continues to pound Scut. It's actually an uncomfortable thing for me to watch past the moment where Ralphie lays him out and gives him the first solid wallop on the kisser. After about 5 seconds, I'm thinking, "uh... Ralphie - he's down - cut him some slack..." and about that time, I thinking, "Scut - TAP OUT MAN! JUST TAP OUT!!!!"



It was about three weeks ago, I tapped out. We had been going through several rough spots (which, when you put things into perspective, compared to the rest of the world, really weren't all that rough, but to us, it wasn't exactly a day at Disneyland) and were doing our best to persevere through them, but it got to the point where something "bad" started happening every other day... and after about a week of that, I felt like someone was sitting on top of me, trying to beat me to an emotional pulp.

I don't know that I've ever felt like that before, where I felt as if something (or someone) was very purposefully and very deliberately trying to make my life a mess, but this particular week, due to these "bad" things that happened which were completely outside our control, I was definitely thinking something was different about my situation. I had one of the worst colds in my life which made me physically miserable, but it was the emotional heaviness that really got me; I felt as if I was being forced to ride some sort of hellish teeter-totter where one minute, my head would be above the waters of "you're good for nothing" and the next minute, I would be totally submerged. And on and on the ride went - "You're weak, you're not good enough, you're fat and ugly, you're a lousy mom, you're an even worse wife, you have nothing to offer, you're a nobody, your situation is going to pull you under, you're tired, you're worn, maybe you should give up... you just need to dig yourself a hole and jump in."

Although some of our issues had been ongoing for months and I was doing ok with them, with the addition of these few extra items, a week into it, I finally broke down. I tapped out.

I never thought of it before, but when a Christian taps out, what is really happening is that Jesus is "tagged in." He doesn't have to wait for the slap on the hand, He sees and knows when we've reached our limits and jumps into the fray to shield us. He did that over 2000 years ago (with His death and resurrection) and He still does it today. All we have to do is tap out. When we stop trying to do life on our own, when we stop trying to heft things under our own strength, we we stop trying to change people, change our situation, change our ourselves, when we come to the end of the line and all we want to do is take a one-way plane trip to "Nobrainrequiredville" we have the blaring opportunity to tap out and tag Jesus in.

Now, I'm not saying that we should all lay back, take life easy and expect Jesus to handle everything for us without our lifting a finger, nor am I saying that when we do ask Jesus to act, that He waves His hand and everything bad currently happening will disappear. No, I don't think Jesus normally works that way.

But I do believe that our weakest moments, can be our most profound and peaceful moments, moments where we see and finally understand the strength that God is offering to us. Without these hard times, He has no way of shaping our character, and most of us, although we acknowledge God is "up there," most of us will not grow close to Him unless we experience times where we desperately need Him.

I've listened to war vets tell their stories of being in battles with their fellow soldiers and in listening, how many times have I heard, "I had no idea who this guy was when we went into battle, but going through what we did, he's like a brother to me now." And so it goes with us and God - although I might have known who God is on the "outside" going through rough times with Him has allowed me to know Him in a much more intimate way... and it has built trust... because when you invest in God, He does not return void. And so, by trusting Him a bit at a time and seeing how He comes through, I trust that He will do what He says and He says - that if I "think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, anything that is excellent or praiseworthy, then His peace, the peace that transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4) and that He will lead me into a place of rest. (Psalm 23)

Many don't understand this. Peace? A place of rest? But didn't your circumstances continue to happen? Yes. Many are still alive and kickin' today and others He thankfully put down for us. But regardless of what is happening today, I feel at peace. How? Because I know that whatever happens, if we should have no food, no water, no home, no clothes, no shoes, no friends, no family, no health... even if the very worst happens, God's promises will still be true and we are only here on this planet for a wisp of a while. And if Scriptures like Psalm 23 aren't meant for here and now for me, then He means it for there (heaven) and then (after I kick the bucket). Regardless of the time frame, I know His promises are true - He WILL lead me beside quiet waters - He WILL restore my soul!

That counts for the man who has just lost his wife, the love of his life. It counts for the man who had a heart attack only this morning and it counts for the family that surrounds him in love. It counts for the family who still grieves the loss of their child. It counts for the wife who so badly wants her husband to love her and only her. It counts for the old and forgotten who are sick and dying in rest homes where no one comes to visit. It counts for the man who so desperately needs affirmation and respect from someone... anyone. It counts for all the beautiful children who have disfigured bodies and no parents to turn to for shelter, nourishment and love. It counts for the woman who hefts the weight of the world squarely on her two shoulders and she is worn and tired and depressed. It counts for all those who are lonely and have no one to hold on to at night. It counts for the prisoner who has raped and murdered. It counts for those unjustly accused. It counts for all these. His promises are true. They count.

There is no situation, no state of being, no place, no circumstance where God does not see, where God does not understand, where God does not hear, where God does not care. If we come to Him, with our hearts so heavy with pain and ask Him to exchange our weariness for His strength, He will not fail us.

I continue to be amazed at the work God does in my life and regardless of the outcome of our situation, I know God is good and I know He never leaves my side. He took all those problems - the cold, the house, the childcare, the poor self-esteem, the uncertainty - and when I was quiet enough - He gently reminded me of who He is and why I shouldn't worry about those problems. It's not that Christians don't have worries or anxieties, Jesus is not some magical pill that we pop and suddenly everything is a bowl of cherries. No, we have our fair share of issues, just like everyone else. Our children die, our parents hurt us, our friends betray us, our jobs drain us, our lives are subject to the same harsh realities as those who live around us, but the difference between me and someone who doesn't yet know Christ is that God promises me - my worries and anxieties will never overtake me, never push me under, never take me into the kill zone... they won't ever leave me completely ravaged, if I give them to Him.

All I have to do is tap out.